Do your unwanted feelings make life harder for you?

Most of us have unwanted feelings from time to time, but if they occur regularly or persistently, it might be worth doing something about them.

Our feelings or emotions act as our own personal satnav guiding us and protecting us.

They can steer as away from dangerous situations, they can empower us at times when we need greater energy, they can provide an expression of our grief and sorrow over sad events, they can help us rise to a challenge, and so on.

If we didn’t have these we would get into all sorts of trouble, like people who have lost their sense of touch who unwittingly get burnt by moving too close to things that are hot, or psychopaths who don’t have any feelings of empathy and are not aware of the pain they are inflicting on others.

So our feelings are to be valued and it is good to make a conscious practice of monitoring them and attempting to interpret the signals that they give us.

Sometimes, however, our feelings run amok. We might get far too angry about a situation than is appropriate. We might be more anxious than we need to be. We might be sadder than would normally be expected.

This can often be due to the current event firing off emotional triggers from some past event, frequently something that happened long ago, possibly even in childhood.

A child has a primitive way of interpreting the world around him or her and so a seemingly minor event can be interpreted as being something of much greater significance.

If this is not resolved properly at the time, these unresolved emotions can be stored away in the unconscious mind, only to be triggered by events that in some way relate to that first event.

So we talk about the unwanted current emotions as being symptoms, with the original triggering event being the root cause.

It is quite common to be unable to recall the original root cause of an emotional issue.

I often give advice on ways to deal with the symptoms and I hope that you find these to be helpful.

But to obtain long-term relief from these symptoms, it’s best to let go of the root cause.

However, because the root cause is buried in the unconscious mind, it can be very difficult to let it go by yourself. This sort of problem is best dealt with by working with an experienced therapist or coach who knows how to deal with these sort of issues.

Using my ‘Rapid Conversational Therapeutic Coaching’ it’s not necessary for the client to dwell on, or even remember, the original root cause event.

And when we’ve finished it’s not uncommon for the client to not even be able to remember the problem that we were working on – it has simply disappeared from their life forever.

If you find that unwanted emotions are making life more difficult for you, and you’d like to chat about it, please direct message me or click on one of the links associated with my pages.

Edited transcript



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I help people make changes in their lives so they can be closer to their best selves.

While some types of personal change can happen very quickly, changing habits can often take quite a bit longer. To help us stick to our goal as we make these changes, it is often really helpful to have an accountability partner – someone to report to from time to time to keep them informed of our progress. Knowing that we are committed to doing this can help keep us on track when we find your motivation is waning.


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